let's exchange smoke rings
by DrinkingAlcoholicRainbows
Summary: From the dusty desk he keeps in the basement of his suitcase shack, a Magizoologist writes a letter to a certain Porpentina Goldstein and asks her if she'd like to keep a Muggle twenty-dollar bill. :: An insight into Early 20th Century long-distance relationships in the Wizarding World.


**A/N: In an event of total boredom and procrastination, Tumblr lead me to yet another prompt generator. It said, "What would you do with a found $20 bill?" and, instead of being stricken with the hilarity of the phrase (or a related phrase, at least: i.e. that Filipino meme _hanggang saan aabot ang bente pesos mo?_ ), I immediately imagined a bewildered but amused Newt Scamander. Yes, I do imagine him to accidentally write poetically in personal letters; it's quite hilarious when held in juxtaposition to Tina's modern bluntness.**

 **Also, yes, title comes from a modified lyric in _20 Dollar Nosebleed_ by Fall Out Boy. It seemed fitting.**

* * *

Newt doesn't notice it at first, and it's long after he arrives at London that he does. He can't exactly imagine how it ended up there in the first place, since he does reckon that the crumpled old thing wasn't nearly as shiny for any of his Nifflers to keep, but he does smile a crooked smile once he figures out what it is.

So from the dusty desk he keeps in the basement of his suitcase shack, he writes a letter to a certain Porpentina Goldstein and asks her if she'd like to keep a Muggle twenty-dollar bill.

Tina, of course, answers within four days with all the promptness that can be expected of the harsh, bellowing winds between their continents. She tells him _the absolute nerve of you to unashamedly talk to me after so damn long_ and she snarks _only you would ask me a question like that_ and she admits _things have gotten a little lackluster without you, newt._ Of course, she doesn't actually address the matter of the dollar bill he found; though he does imagine that she rolls her eyes quite a bit and he also hopes that he inspires at least a chuckle.

He tells her as such, of course, in the next letter; of which its contents could be summarized as _i expected that somewhere in that sea of words that you sent me i would have found some sort of passage on whether you wanted this piece of Muggle money i found._

She laughs, and he knows this because she says as much in her letter, and that's all she says about the matter. She asks him how he's been and she encourages him to use the word _No-Maj_ and she tells him that, speaking of, her sister had invited Jacob Kowalski over for dinner the other day. She ends with _i do hope you learn how to write longer letters_ and she signs it with _love, tina_.

In a strange but powerful urge to please her, so he does. He eventually forgets about pestering her about the dollar bill he found and it soon become apparent that sending letters to Tina has become a regular thing. He delights himself by telling her about how well he's progressing with his book, how things have been doing inside his little haven of a zoo, how he sometimes misses the dreary smoke-smell of America. In return, Tina sends him a picture of Jacob's mysteriously familiar treats along with another one of the three of them. Queenie had written _wish you were here!_ in her loopy script, and the awkward scrawl that Newt could only assume Jacob's doing only read _regards_. It makes him smile regardless.

Yet the increasing chaos in the wizarding world soon leads Tina to write about how MACUSA has gotten all the more secretive and busy, how the news is covering tragedy after tragedy, and about how she only sees darker times ahead. He draws a Thunderbird for her in his next letter, and he jokes, rather darkly, about how she may never imagine the paranoia that has been slowly stretching over Europe in the past decade. He tells her that he hopes she will never have to experience such a thing, but also that soon, she may have to.

 _maybe sometime,_ he writes, _in hopefully not a very long time, you and i will meet again; i can only dream that it will be in a much cheerier atmosphere as compared to this dread that surrounds us._

 _now you've jinxed it,_ is Tina's reply.

Next letter he sends (one of his more boring ones, he thinks, though he supposes that life is never really boring for a wizard like him), he attaches a box filled with Occamy shells to go along with it. Inside the box is another letter, which reads _save this for when we meet again._

He hesitates for only a second before adding _love, newt_ and a forgotten twenty-dollar bill.


End file.
